activity / idea
When your marriage is under stress, what patterns tend to repeat themselves? (e.g. My spouse withdraws. I lash out. I get insecure. My spouse gets critical. I work harder. My spouse is immobilized.) How do you know when each other is stressed?

Take time together to be proactive before those days hit:

• What’s one destructive pattern that you could hijack for a more constructive one?
• What’s one positive action you could take together when one or both of your are stressed? (e.g. Taking a date night. Praying together. Eliminating the yelling so we can work against the problem instead of against each other.)

suggested time range
20 minutes

goal
To interrupt destructive stress cycles and replace them with strengthening moves.

activity / idea
How much do you know about what your spouse likes in bed? Begin by lying in bed with one another, clothes optional. Ask:

• What turns you on?
• What do you love that I do in bed?
• Is there something I could do to please you even more?
• What’s one of the best memories you have of us in bed?
• What’s an arousing area of your body for you that I might not guess?

suggested time range
Once weekly, minimum

goal
Increase your sexual IQ of your spouse.

activity / idea
Discuss, then establish a few mutually agreed-upon guidelines for the devices in your home.

Ideas:

• Set a “bedtime” alarm on your phone—and choose to not use it after that time.
• No phones at the dinner table.
• No interaction with your phone in the active presence of others.
• Place phones in a basket or bowl upon entering house.
• Stop movies/TV at a certain hour; after that point, we discuss our day/pray together/snuggle.

suggested time range
Daily, as often as needed

goal
Remove tech barriers cannibalizing quality and quantity of relationship time.