activity / idea
Think deeply on your own:

• What’s one area where I continue to complain about my spouse?
• What are the emotions I experience with this problem?
• What is one thing I could do to move from negativity to positive, healthy action?
• Could I commit to not mention my spouse’s failures for one week?

suggested time range
5 minutes

goal
To move from complaining to asking for what I hope for from my spouse—and releasing him or her to God.

activity / idea
Increase your date-night lifting power. Make them count by creating a goal to complete three “reps” by answering three in-depth questions each date.

Ideas:

• What’s one thing I do that makes you feel really respected, loved, or connected to me?
• What’s one of your best memories of us together?
• What kind of activity makes you feel closest to God?
• What do you pray about (or for) most often?
• What job(s) could you do that wouldn’t feel like work?
• What do you like—or for what are you most grateful—about the way God has made you?
• What’s one way I could be more of the person you want me to be?

suggested time range
15-30 minutes

goal
Take your dates to the next level of connection.

activity / idea
Set a reminder on your phone to pray for unconditional love for your spouse.

suggested time range
Once daily, less than 30 seconds

goal
To ask for God’s help with and set your mind upon loving your spouse as Christ has loved you: Returning a blessing for an insult, not keeping a record of wrongs, going the distance to bring you near.

activity / idea
Pray. Examine your heart to see if there is anything you have not forgiven your spouse for. Ask God for the power to choose forgiveness whenever this arises in your mind. Remember this about forgiveness:

• It is not excusing behavior.
• It is not without accountability.
• It chooses to bless rather than seek revenge.
• It chooses not to dwell upon, or gossip about.

suggested time range
Repeat as often as necessary

goal
To forgive your spouse as you have been forgiven by God, setting you both free.

As you cool down, it’s time to reflect.

Read Ephesians 4:25-27, 29, 31-32: Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

… Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

… Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Pray together, remember to stretch yourself this week for the sake of your spouse, and stay flexible with your growth:

Father, remind us constantly how much we’re forgiven. Let our marriage forgive that way. Keep us from words that corrupt each other.