We Still Do: Michael and Cindy Easley, Part 1

Bob:  You know, I have been sitting here thinking Dennis about the couple listening to the broadcast who may be in those first six months of their marriage experiencing some of the choppy waters that Michael and Cindy have described and I have been thinking, Well, how would you counsel them?  I guess you already have.  You would tell the guys "Don't use that divorce word even jokingly."  And you would tell the ladies, "Lighten up a little bit."  And that might at least diffuse some of the tension and start communicating with one another.

Dennis:  There was one other thing that I would add that Michael mentioned.  He said they were involved in a good local church and if you listen to what really happened here, it is because of the body of Christ—a doctor who got in Michael's face and another believer who was involved in their church who pulled them out of that ditch.  Who kind of set them back on the right way and encouraged them to be followers of Jesus Christ and I would not want to underestimate the power of a good local church and not just going to a good local church.  Michael said they were involved in a good local church.

Michael, I want to ask you as a pastor what would you say to a young couple starting out their marriage together.  Maybe they have moved to a new city.  Maybe they haven't.  What would you say to them about selecting a good local church? 

Michael:  Dennis, they need to find a church that teaches The Bible.  That sounds like the big duh statement of a church, but I find that it is very rare today to find a church that actually opens The Bible and teaches it. 

Dennis:  You're not just talking about in Sunday school.

Michael:  I'm talking about Sunday morning from the pulpit, Sunday school, small groups.  I don't care how they slice it.  Does the church teach the Scripture because without this book, all this stuff is a joke?  It's one more "ism", one more philosophy, one more idea.   We say it in the conference, Dennis.  Marriage is God's plan.  If he designed this thing, the only refuge we've got is His Word and they need to find a church that teaches the word. 

Secondly, they need to find a couple, two, three, four five years longer in the marriage situation that is tracking well.  Pray that God will give you that couple.  I think that is a prayer God would love to answer.  Here is a young couple who is scared of their marriage, they are nervous in their marriage and there is a Dennis and Barbara over there who are four years ahead of us in marriage perhaps.  Maybe we should go out to dinner with them sometime.  And just see if it clicks. 

And one of Cindy's and my desires is always to get a couple where all four get along because you really need that early in marriage.  I think God will honor that if they will plug into a church that really teaches The Bible unvarnished.  Let's look at what God says. 

Along with that they need to plug in, get involved, and find some area.  At our church, we tell people just find one area to serve.  So if you came to a local church, you found that they teach the Scripture, then find an area you can serve in as a couple, maybe it is a small group in a home to begin with where you are meeting with four or five other couples studying a Homebuilders, doing a Bible Study, something like this, but if they will find an area where they can plug in, serve some other folks, do some projects together, it will solidify their marriage. 

Bob:  I think the thing is there is an environment there.  There are likeminded men and women who take the marriage covenant seriously and who reinforce those values and beliefs.   Certainly there are couples in churches today who walk away from their marriage vows, but as couples are involved in a local church, I think God uses the fellowship of other believers, the regular preaching of His word, the worship together with the body of Christ—all of that as a way to keep drawing you back to where you ought to be.  You keep hearing the gospel and being reminded of what God has done for you and how you are to live in response to that goodness of God.  That Good News of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

In fact let me remind listeners that the Easleys and the Raineys are going to be together not this weekend but next weekend at the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember® marriage conference that we are hosting in Washington, D.C. at the Gaylord National hotel.  We still have room available for those who would like to attend this fun, romantic getaway for couples.  In fact that weekend that weekend, Valentine’s weekend, is the kickoff of our spring conference season. 

While you guys are going to be in the nation’s capital I’m going to be in the chocolate capital in Hershey, Pennsylvania at the Hershey lodge.  We have other conferences that same weekend and in the weeks to come all across the country.  We really believe that for a marriage to go the distance from time to time you need to get a tune up done.  You need to pull off to the side and let the engine cool off a little bit and let our mechanics take a look under the hood and let us perform the necessary preventive maintenance. 

We do hope you’ll make plans to attend an upcoming FamilyLife Weekend to Remember® marriage conference.  And if there was one other piece of advice we would give you it would be something that I know the Easleys have been doing for years and we do it as well.  Get involved with other couples in regular fellowship and accountability being honest about issues you face in marriage. 

We have designed a series of studies that many of our listeners have heard us talk about called The HomeBuilders Couples Series®.  It’s a curriculum for small groups and it’s all about building your marriage relationship and building your spouse.  Building teamwork in your marriage, learning how to resolve conflict in your marriage.  To get together with three or four other couples and spend time asking one another some good thought provoking questions about the marriage relationship it helps build the kind of community that keeps a marriage pointed in the right direction. 

You can find out more when you go to our website FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.  Our team can help with that.

A while back our friends Linda and Jody Dillow were speaking on the subject of marriage and romance and intimacy at a conference we were hosting and what they shared in that conference was something that the folks who were there really responded to.  This month probably because Valentine’s Day is coming up in a couple of weeks we wanted to make their message available to those of you who can help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any amount.  We are listener supported.  Your donations are what keep us on this station and on other stations all across the country. 

We’d like to say thank you if you are able to help with a donation by sending out this CD that features Linda and Jody Dillow.  The title of the message is The Four Flames of Marital Intimacy and if you’d like to receive the CD when you make your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com just type the word “FOUR” into the key code box on the online donation form or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and you can make a donation over the phone.  When you call just ask for the CD on marital intimacy or the CD with the Dillows.  We will be happy to send it out to you again as our way of saying thank you for your support of FamilyLife Today.

Tomorrow Michael and Cindy are going to be back with us.  In fact we are going to talk about the time in your marriage when you looked at each other and said I think we need to see a marriage counselor which is not an easy thing for a pastor and his wife to admit to one another or to their friends.  We’ll talk more about that tomorrow.  I hope our listeners can be back with us as well. 

I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.  We'll see you next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.

FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.

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