FamilyLife Blended® Minute

You’re Not My Dad–Part 1

with Ron Deal | October 18, 2018
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Recognize that on some level this teenager is telling you about her sadness. Yes, I know, she doesn't want to clean her room but she also misses her dad. Sometimes kids defy a stepparent because they are hurting. So, respond first with genuine compassion. "You're right. I'm not your dad and I can tell that you miss him." This connects to her heart and shows her you're really not all that bad. In fact, your gentleness just might earn you some respect and obedience. I'll share part two tomorrow.

  • Show Notes

  • About the Host

  • About the Guest

  • Recognize that on some level this teenager is telling you about her sadness. Yes, I know, she doesn't want to clean her room but she also misses her dad. Sometimes kids defy a stepparent because they are hurting. So, respond first with genuine compassion. "You're right. I'm not your dad and I can tell that you miss him." This connects to her heart and shows her you're really not all that bad. In fact, your gentleness just might earn you some respect and obedience. I'll share part two tomorrow.

  • Ron Deal

    Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and Preparing to Blend. Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist, popular conference speaker, and host of the FamilyLife Blended podcast. He and his wife, Nan, have three sons and live in Little Rock, Arkansas. Learn more at FamilyLife.com/blended.

What would you say if your stepdaughter just declared, “You’re not my dad; I don’t have to do what you say.”