How did you find out about your spouse's unfaithfulness? Did you discover it yourself or did your spouse confess it you?
If you don't mind me asking, how long did the affair go on before you became aware?
I know that you feel very betrayed. Can you describe some of that to me so that I can help you process those emotions?
Is this your first experience with this kind of thing or has it been part of your life before, either in your marriage or in your family growing up?
Can you envision yourself moving through this difficult time and toward reconciliation with your spouse, even if that takes a long time?
Even if you can't picture reconciliation right now, will you please consider the importance of forgiveness for your own sake so that bitterness doesn't grow in your heart?
Are you willing to follow God’s plan for you, your marriage, and your family, rather than being led by your feelings?
Do you believe God can answer your prayers? Can I pray with you through this difficult time in your life?
Do you have close friends and family around to support you and point you toward Christ?
Tell me about your spouse? What were they like when you first met? What attracted you to them? Why did you choose to marry them? What has changed over time?
What do you believe need to be the next steps for you and your spouse?
I believe that the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with Jesus Christ. Can you tell me about that?
What do you need from me right now to help you get through today?
Does your spouse have a relationship with Christ?
Who besides yourself is aware of your spouse’s infidelity? Who is giving you advice about what to do now? What are they telling you? What do you think about what they are telling you?
Do you think your spouse is genuinely repentant or just sorry for getting caught? (2 Corinthians 7:10)
How are you dealing with your anger toward your spouse and their partner?
Are you tempted to believe that divorce will solve the problems?
You are not to blame for the affair, but are you willing to consider the problems in your marriage that contributed to it?
Do you believe that God is able to cause “all things to work together for good” even in this difficulty?
Where would you hope to be in your personal development one year from now? In your marriage? Spiritually? What do you think that it would take to get there?
What is one step you can take in the right direction and how can I help you do that?
