“What your husband wants is your acknowledgement that he is the leader, the one in authority. This is not to grind you under or treat you as inferior. It is only to say that because God has made your husband responsible (Ephesians 5:25-33), he needs the authority to carry out that responsibility.”

“Self-righteousness can deceive you more than any other sin. If you see yourself as far better than your husband, especially in the spiritual realm, he will back away from you spiritually and probably in many other ways. As the years pass, your husband will stop giving advice at almost every level.”

“I think part of the problem with the idea of submission is that we’ve lost sight of our real purpose. First and foremost, we are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. Then, as we’ve already seen in Genesis, we’re to complete our husbands--adding our strength to theirs.”

“It’s not wrong to determine together which direction to go … It’s alright to have an opinion and express it stridently. Obviously there’s no sin in that. Go ahead and let your husband know how you feel … Discuss it long and hard, but in the end, if he’s not willing to change his mind, you must let him lead.”

“Men won’t fight their wives for leadership; they’ll just turn it over and walk away. Everything in the culture encourages them to do that. Everything in their sinful nature encourages them to do that. If their own wives start fighting them for control, then they’ll quickly abdicate.”

“Submission is a way of telling your husband, ‘I believe in you! I’m with you! You can do it!’ It’s a way of keeping him the leader, even when he doesn’t want to be.”

“A biblically submissive wife’s focus is not on enabling wrong behavior, but on empowering her husband to pursue right behavior--to become the man God wants him to be, and the leader God wants him to be. That’s an extremely important point. God never asks a wife (or any believer) to do what is wrong. After all, she ultimately serves Christ.”

“God may use a wife’s quiet and submissive spirit in her husband’s life. But her core role as a wife does not involve spiritual leadership. She may influence him by her behavior, but he must assume the responsibility to nurture and disciple her. It’s at the core of what it means to be a husband.”

“What if the addict is wrecking the family finances? If the spouse is working, she could give all her funds to a trusted friend who could manage some of the daily finances … All you can do is shield money in whatever way you can. In most states, the only time a spouse is not liable for her husband’s debts is when there has been a legal separation or divorce.”

“I often hear many wives complain that their husbands are too disconnected and passive on family matters. But why is he passive? Quite likely in the past, every time he tried to step up to the plate, she had a better idea. After a while, he just let her have her way.”

“Let go of as many expectations as possible. The changes you try to make happen in your husband, or that your husband tries to make in himself to please you, are doomed to failure and will bring disappointment for you both. Instead, ask God to make any necessary changes ... Accept your husband the way he is and pray for him to grow ... Your greatest expectations must be from God, not from your husband.”

“Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God’s priorities for each season of life, and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing that He has provided the necessary time and abilities to do everything that He has called us to do.”

"The husband who 'serves' his wife by continually yielding to her desires or her wishes is in fact asking her to do his job for him.  He’s ignoring his responsibility to lead.”

“The husband who uses the title of headship as a cover for control, dominance, or even abuse is not only not a head in the way the Bible sets forth but is instead a moral and spiritual failure.  Let me make this clear: When it comes to a man’s leadership in his home, male domination is never a teaching of the Bible.  But headship is.”

“Why, in our culture, do so many discussions of male/female roles seem so painful, unfair, unreal, unfunny, and even preposterous?  Because of men who demand submission from their wives but in turn submit themselves to no one, including God … We cannot blame women for being frustrated because they fear the injustice of being under headship that itself is not accountable.”

“From the Bible’s perspective, a leader in the home is that man who accepts responsibility for his family—to love, provide for, and protect them and to direct them along biblical guidelines.  Given that, I believe every man can be a leader, regardless of his personality.  He can do it even if he lacks the inspiration, articulation, and vision of a natural leader.  Leadership of the family as a core responsibility is within the grasp of every man.”